Our Village

Hello All!

It's been a busy couple of weeks - full of work, lamaze classes (finished the last class last night), doctor's appointments (we're seeing Dr. C once a week now), more work and baby prepping errands. I also had two more baby showers bringing our final shower count to five. I know this is not the norm but I'm definitely not complaining. Instead, we are both feeling really, really loved.

The first shower was hosted by Leo's coworkers - it was great to see some old faces and also to meet several new ones. For those of you who don't know this, I used to work where Leo is currently employed so it was strange to be back in the building again...strange but also really nice and familiar. (if that makes any sense at all) I was immediately overwhelmed by the number of people who took time out of their busy work day to come and support us through kind and encouraging words and thoughtful gifts.

The second shower was hosted last Saturday by my mom, sisters and nieces. I think it is safe to say that Jacob now has a closet full of clothes, nicely organized by size, at least a dozen blankets, some hand made and others store bought. One in paticular, I will cherish forever. It was given to me by my Mom and it was made with material that she had literally held on to for years - since my little brother Mario was born. She had purchased it for Mario's Winnie the Pooh themed nursery but when he got sick, the material was never used. Instead, she held on to it...until now.

Of course, as soon as I read the card that explained all of this, the tears came. First, I felt sad - for my Mom's pain at that time and for her loss, even now. Then I felt sad because the reality is, Jacob will never know who my brother was with his comedic personality and his great big heart. But then in a blink of an eye, my heart felt really full and I felt nothing but love. Love for my Mom - for choosing Jacob to receive this memory filled and heart felt gift and for my sisters and nieces for all of the carefully thought out details and the hard work that went into this shower.

I am officially 37 weeks pregnant and excited with anticipation of Jacob's arrival. This past Friday was my last day at work and I am definitely planning on taking advantage of this time to organize and prepare but also to relax and rest up for what promises to be a very different life for Leo and I. I'm ready - without a doubt in my mind. I'm not nervous or scared. I've had a long time to think, prepare, enlist help, ask questions and get answers. I know that parenting isn't black and white. It's doing what feels right and ensuring that everything you can do, you make a point to do.

In the last few months, Leo and I have come to realize that we have been blessed with an amazing circle of family and friends - a village of people who have been there for us, from day one and we will probably never be able to fully describe how thankful we are for each and every one of you for your love, support and thoughfulness. I guess that is what they mean by it taking a village to raise a child = our village is definitely made up of people who we love, cherish and respect - what more do we need?

Jacob's Parents

Image provided by Ravenessences

I've been having more than my usual share of random thoughts lately. Like wondering that color eyes Jacob will have, will he be a lefty or a righty, will he have his Dad's smile or mine or more importantly, where will we draw the line in the sand with regards to disciplining him.

I've also been thinking a great deal about the things I want to instill in him - to ensure that he will be a beautiful person inside and out. And not just to the people he is naturally drawn to but to everyone he comes into contact with. This includes the people who will challenge him, offend him and even anger or upset him because I truly believe that being "ugly" to someone will only further aggravate the situation and absolutely nothing good can come out of it.

I want Jacob to be respectful of others; respectful of their religious preferences and their lifestyles. I want him to see that the best way to live your life is to lead by example, not by judging others or throwing stones. I want him to be a happy child, confident and filled with the belief that he can do anything he puts his mind to. For him to feel loved always but also to feel secure enough to go out into the world - when it is time - to live his own life, find his life's passion and enjoy all of the experiences out there waiting for him.

I want him to feel good about his upbringing, knowing that we did the best we could and for him to do the same with his own children. I want him to play fair and take a loss like anyone should - with grace. When he is old enough, I want him to be aware that their are children out there who don't have what he has -
forget the cell phone, the WII games or the nike shoes - kids who don't even have a roof over their heads and food to eat.

I want Jacob to do whatever suits him - whether it is sports or joining clubs and organizations at school or just spending time with his friends. Or not. Because Jacob will have choices. Some of the basic choices, we will make for him, especially early on but when he is old enough, it will be up to him to decide. Of course, we'd love to see him go to College but if it's not in the cards, again, we will respect his decision because only he can decide what is best for him.

All of these things are important to me. I've lived my life a certain way partly because it is in my nature but also because I believe that my parents, relatives, friends and co-workers instilled these things in me over the years. I want the very same for Jacob - constantly inspired and motivated by those around him to do more, live life to it's fullest and learn from and appreciate every person who is put in his path. I am positive that Leo and I will make many, many mistakes along the way but we are also ready and willing to learn from them and figure out how best to handle the situation the next time around.

For years, we've been praying and waiting for this new chapter in our lives to begin - it sort of feels like we've won the lottery and because of that, we want to ensure that Jacob has every possible opportunity to live a happy life that is full of great memories, amazing experiences, friendship, love, hard work and fun. No rock left unturned. Whatever obstacles come our way, (and there will be many, I'm sure) we will do whatever it takes - together - to get through to the other side, still feeling utterly blessed and grateful for the opportunity to be Jacob's parents.

(I still LOVE the sound of that!)

Enjoy your Sunday! 

Missy  

Showers of Love

Image Courtesy of Sweet Little Smoothie

The idea of me having a baby shower, much less four is still crazy sounding to my very own ears. Even with two very beautiful showers already come and gone and one tomorrow, I am still waiting for someone to pinch me or for the morning light to bring the realization that the past few months have been nothing but a really sweet dream.

Crazy, I know but I've been literally dreaming about this magical time in my life for nearly 10 years. Even longer if you count the time I spent daydreaming prior to me meeting Leo - soon to be known as Jacob's Dad. (I LOVE the sound of that!) Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about having a family and in less than 6 weeks, my dream will finally come true.

A few weeks ago, the women that I work with at the University of La Verne threw me a baby shower - and what a shower it was! Everything was so incredibly perfect and beautiful, from the carefully thought out menu to the decorations and environment in which it all played out in. I felt completely loved and supported.

Then a few weeks later Leo's family threw us another shower - this time it was a surprise and yes, I was in fact very surprised. I was thinking we were about to celebrate Leo's sister's birthday so we even showed up with gift in hand. Words could never fully express how nice it was to be able to celebrate this miracle that is about to arrive in just a few weeks with Leo's parents, siblings, aunts, cousins and close friends of the family.

Both days will be moments in both our lives that we won't ever forget. Without a doubt.

Tomorrow is my friend's shower and I am very excited about it. Excited to see faces I haven't seen in days,  months and even years. A few I haven't seen since High School - nearly 20 years ago to be exact. What a special day this is bound to be. Many of them have been supporting me for years via email, facebook, cards, phone calls and text messages. Some of them are previous co-workers from the many jobs I've had over the years. And others I've met through fundraising events I've organized and parties I've attended. Yes, it will be another great moment and I can't wait.

I guess that is the best part about rainy days - there will always be a rainbow at the end to look forward to. That's how I look at this whole experience. I had to go through some rain to get to the sunny, clear days filled with lots and lots of color. And if anyone ever asked me if it was worth it, without even hesitating, I'd say most definitely YES!

Thank you for supporting me through my rainy days!

Enjoy the Day!
Missy  

32 Weeks

Today marks 32 weeks - can you believe it?

This past Wednesday was another big day for Leo and I. We toured the maternity ward of the hospital where Jacob will be born. Altogether there were 18 expecting Mommies with their proud hubbies in attendance. To my delight, there were mini pink and baby blue cupcakes along with assorted cheese and crackers, lemonade and pitchers of iced water with lemon slices - Yum-Oh!!

Then the 12-minute video began by highlighting the history of the hospital, which by the way was built in the early 1900's - not sure I really needed to know that but then it went over the admission process and other important details. Then it was time to walk around the actual maternity ward - our tour guide was a woman by the name of Dee but she quickly announced to us that we could call her Dee-Dee. She was a sweet lady and it was very evident that she loved her job.

We toured the semi-private rooms, the private rooms and the labor rooms. Let's just say I'm hoping to be lucky enough to get a private room. And last on our scheduled tour was the area where the babies are checked and given a thorough examination - we even got to see an adorable 8-pound baby girl who had just been born earlier that afternoon. 

All in all, Leo and I learned a lot and it was nice to get a feel for the space that we would soon bring our baby boy into the world.

Enjoy the Weekend!
Missy

My Dad and Life Lessons

Most of you didn't know my Dad. He was smart, funny, generous and affectionate. He could also be complicated and difficult to read at times. He never had a hard time saying, "I love you." but like many of us, he struggled with admitting when he was wrong.

When I was a little girl, I remember him being the kind of person who would give you the shirt off of his back and he loved nothing more than to cook and share his dishes with others. We were a fairly large family (I'm one of 5 kids) so he always cooked enough for what seemed like an army, which meant that there were always left-overs for days. My friends loved to sleep over because that meant that more than likely they would be indulging in homemade banana pancakes the next morning.

He had a great smile and an infectious laugh. He enjoyed working with his hands and he loved listening to his eclectic collection of albums from Freddy Fender, Jerry Lee Lewis and Aaron Neville to Three Dog Night, Elvis Presley, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding and Kenny Rogers to name just a few. He looked forward to having family over for the holidays and he went out of his way to ensure that everyone was well-fed, content and happy. 

Sometimes I can't help but wonder what if things had been different? What if he were still here today? Would we have been able to mend our relationship? I'd like to think so. In life it's easy to feel regret but I also know in my heart of hearts that I did what I had to do...at the time for me. And regardless of what happened, I LOVE my Dad very much and I will always hold fast to the good times and the great memories we had while he was here.

My relationship with my Dad didn't end up where I would have liked it to be before he passed but sometimes we have to let go for our own sake. Most people may not understand this but as hard as it was to walk away, it was even harder on me to stay and when I did, he didn't show any interest in doing whatever it took to save our relationship. Maybe it was his pride or his ability to be stubborn at times or a combination of both, I will never know but I have to believe that he missed having me in his life and wished things were different.

Since then, I have forgiven him and myself. Nothing will ever change the fact that he was my Dad and I wouldn't change a thing because just like every other experience in life, it has molded me in to the person I am today.

My Dad was a complicated man but he was also funny, smart, loving and generous. These days, when a song comes on that reminds me of him, I smile and hope that he is proud of the person I have become. The lesson here is that love sometimes isn't enough to make a relationship work but you can still appreciate how it helps you navigate through the rest of your life.

Today, I can most definitely appreciate the traits that he has unknowingly passed down to me. I like to look at it as an unexpected blessing that I will always appreciate and hold on to. 

Life Lessons
You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word. Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart. Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The (woman)(man) I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away. I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful kid. By Joanna F.
Enjoy the Day!
Missy         

Busy Bees

Hello! It's me. Malissa...the author of this blog. I know - it's been awhile. Once again. Life has been a-buzz with work, activity, baby preparations and birthday celebrations, a much-needed vacation to Mexico and more work.

I do want to sincerely thank all of you for sticking with me, despite my ability to go missing in action for weeks at a time. I think about blogging all the time but then I remember what is on my plate for the day and it gets pushed to the very end of my list of things to do. I'm sure my reasons are not foreign to you. We are all busy bees trying to keep up with the momentum that life tends to create for us, despite our efforts to prevent it. 

Sometimes I wonder what all of you have been up to. What types of activities and responsibilities fill-up your days? I'd love to know. I've been far more inquisitive than normal lately - asking everyone I know - especially those who manage to work a full-time job and raise children how they juggle everything. It's all a big mystery to me at this point but I'm also excited - anxiously awaiting all of the changes that are about to take place in our seemingly quiet life.

Yesterday I signed us up for the hospital tour and we also start Lamaze classes next month. Watch out people, we're on our way to learning everything we possibly can about the birthing process. I was talking to a friend just last night and she suggested getting a midwife...anyone out there have any experience with this? She seemed pretty positive about it - having tried it for several of her deliveries.

There have been lots of kicking these days and I doubt I will ever tire of it. Sometimes when I'm watching television I'll catch myself focusing my attention on my ever-growing belly instead of the television - I just can't help it. It's just such an amazing feeling - to know that our little Jacob is in there...kicking away. And yes folks, it is official. We have selected a name: Jacob Mario Hernandez. I've always love the name Jacob and Mario was lovingly selected in memory of my little brother Mario who passed away years ago. (sigh)

I'm also happy to report that my energy level is still going strong and thankfully I don't have gestational diabetes. In fact, since early March I've only gained 12 pounds. Although, I haven't been weighed since our vacation to Mexico last week. Chances are, I gained a couple of pounds from the endless buffets and late night snacks but isn't that what vacations are for? (anyone? anyone?)

So things are definitely going great. Busy as usual but still - enjoying every single minute of this pregnancy. As always, thank you for listening (reading) and I hope you all have a great weekend!

Missy

P.S. Here are a few photos from our trip!

25 Weeks: No Excuses - Just Do It.

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and everything is still going really great. I'm sleeping and eating well. My energy level is good and I'm keeping myself pretty busy with work during the week and with projects around the house - mostly decluttering and getting rid of clothes and things we don't use. (Last week I took at least 5 bags of clothing to the thrift store plus a few boxes of "stuff" = good progress)

I've also been making it my mission to stay on a schedule so that we don't end up with way too much to get done in September because it will undoubtedly be my busiest month at work with Homecoming Weekend in early October. And I'm pretty determined to do it all - the hospital tour, lamaze classes, breastfeeding classes and CPR training because I want to make it a priority to do it all - no matter how busy things get.

But I have noticed a change in me - or rather something that is more prominent than normal.  I've just sort of been in this "no excuses, just do it" mentality and as a result, I've been struggling a lot lately with relating to and being there for others. I guess it's because my reaction is to get down to business, solve the problem and stay away from any impending drama. And often the hardest part for me is figuring out why others can't come to the same conclusion on their own.

I just truly believe that if you are not happy - if you are not living the life you want to live, then you are the only person who can change it. Not Mom and Dad, not your siblings, not even your closest friends. Trust me, I've tried and failed miserably at fixing other people's problems. As a friend, I have found that my only role should be to listen, make suggestions and then support the final decision - whatever that may be. And I can pray about it in hopes that everything works out for the best.

We all have at one point or another been in a bad situation but how we handle them - how we choose to prepare ourselves to manage while we are in the midst of it and how we plan to overcome and get past them is the most important part. Of course we can kick and scream, complain and point fingers in the opposite direction but at the end of the day, it's not going to do us a bit of good because we all have choices. Venting is necessary to process and figure things out but it should never stop there.

I wish life could be easier for all of us but it just isn't. There are challenges to face and obstacles to overcome. Issues to solve and problems to fix. I'm not even sure why this subject is so prominent on my mind - especially on a night like this - the 4th of July. The only thing that makes sense is that maybe my being able to get pregnant after so many years has made me more confident in my abilities to do what ever it takes - to never ever give up and to always live live to the fullest, even while you are working on your dreams.

I read a post tonight that asked the question, "When is it time to give up?" My answer is always going to be never. Because in my experience, even when you think you've given up, your heart will never fully allow it. Do whatever it takes today. Don't wait for tomorrow, next week or next month. And don't expect or wait for others to change your life - it's not their life to change. No more excuses: just do it - do whatever it takes to create the life YOU want. Why? Because you deserve it!