My miracle took 9 years. And even now, It's almost impossible for me to forget. And maybe I don't want to as crazy as that may sound.
Being labeled "infertile" was all I knew until just a little over a year ago. Until then, I woke up nearly every day wondering when I would become a Mom. Naturally, there were moments in between when I would throw my hands in the air and vow to move on but it just wasn't possible because usually within a day or two I was back to praying - wishing - hoping for a miracle.
How could I ever let go of this dream?
It wasn't as if I was wishing to be rich or famous. I wasn't dreaming of going to Europe or fancying an expensive sports car with all the bells and whistles. I didn't yearn to be a Pulitzer Prize winner or even a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize. My dream was simple and very natural because of the obvious - with my being a woman and all. And never in a million years could I have ever guessed that I would one day face two miscarriages, a failed artficial insemination and a infertility diagnosis but I am so glad that I didn't give up. I have always tried to look at the bright side of things so when I think of the past 9 years, this is what I focus on:
1. My husband and I got to travel
2. I was able to figure out what I was meant to do in life
3. I never would have had the chance to connect with you!
4. I may not have started writing again
Today, I am a Mom and I couldn't be happier with that fact. And my heart will never forget the past 9 years but I am more than okay with that because it wasn't all bad. In fact, there were some pretty wonderful memories in there too. And I wholeheartedly believe that I am a better person and a better Mom today as a result.
I made many mistakes along the way and I endured more than I ever thought was possible but I also persevered and I learned so much about inner strength and the power of human connection - even when the connections are solely made through blog posts, emails and Facebook comments. (I could never really thank you all enough!)
Today and always, I truly hope that I can still be here for those of you who are still praying, wishing and hoping for a miracle. I say this often but I could never really say it enough - never lose hope!
Enjoy the day!
Missy
Visit Faces of Loss/Faces of Hope at: http://facesofloss.com/
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4 comments:
I'm so happy you finally got your miracle. Hugs to you friend.
Thank you so much my friend! Xo
9 years of trying. wow. we are going on two and it sometimes seems impossible. My cousin (16 years old) just had her baby. My friend in NY 19 got his gf knocked up and I can't help but feel why me? why us? when it comes to having problems. Your story gives me hope that one day..maybe.. instead of Negative...I may see a positive.
You are going to see that alot so the best advice I could give you is to avoid wracking your brain wondering why - just try to focus on your own journey and take one day at a time.
Focusing on the postitive will not always be possible but when you are in that dark place, look to others (bloggers, friends, family) to get you through to the other side.
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