Stepping Stones

How to grieve losing a baby that you never got to hold.

For me, losing two in utero initially felt like I had been punished. My body hadn't done it's job. It was easy to blame myself because who else could I blame? Simply put, I was the one who was supposed to take the egg and make it into a baby. It's only been in the last year that I have finally come to realize that it was really God saying that he had other plans for me and for my little babies. It's still hard to deal with at times but overall, I get it now and I feel completely able to help others through the grieving process. In fact, there is nothing I want more than to help other women follow the stepping stones through their own grief.  

My loss has truly opened my eyes to what is really important in life and I am humbled by the countless blessings I've been given. True friendships were solidified. And the door opened up for me to sit down and write via a blog - my very own place to share, sort out, learn, grow and to be consistently inspired. It has also been a great place for me to connect with other women who are dealing with P.C.O.S and loss. We carry each other at different times but we are always in it together - no matter what. In short, I have been very lucky to have the kind of encouragement and support I have been given and I want to pay it forward somehow.

Many have asked me questions related to how they can best help a loved one dealing with grief. It's difficult to sometimes know just what to say. Over the years I have heard many heartfelt words that have helped me through and also some that have unintentionally angered or hurt me. Today, I wholeheartedly believe that the best thing anyone could say to someone who has lost a baby or any loved one for that matter is, "I am so very sorry for your loss." That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. And instead of saying, "I am here for you if you need anything," figure out what is in your heart to do and like a Nike ad, "Just Do It."

• Drop off a homemade casserole or some yummy baked goods
• Offer them your hand and/or a great big hug
• Encourage them to talk about their grief 
• Gift them a journal or to start a blog
• Encourage them to read blogs written by women who are experiencing the same kind of grief

I also believe that remembering our angel babies in a outward way is a crucial stepping stone in moving past the pain. I've done some research and would like to share the links of some pretty amazing websites that offer several different ways to remember them in a special way. There will probably always be some sadness but when we remember them outwardly by lighting a special candle or placing an angelic statue in our garden or even wearing a symbolic necklace, we will be able to think about their existence in our lives, no matter how short lived and we open up our hearts to feel blessed.

Blessed by their angelic spirits and by their love that shines down on us every single day. 

International Star Registry
Arbor Day Foundation
The Comfort Company
Planet Gift Bakets
Inspired Art Prints
Patricia Ann Jewelry Designs
Molly Bears
My Forever Child
La Belle Dame
Still Life 365
Christian's Beach

Enjoy the Day!
Missy