Promises Made

Photo by: SRSR

The artificial insemination this morning went perfectly! (Yay!) 

On the way home, I said a little prayer. And in my quiet desperation, I promised things. Lots of things. I promised I would be a better person. A better wife, a better sister and a better friend. I promised that I would go to church every Sunday and that I wouldn't drink anymore - not even socially - not one itty-bitty drink. I promised I would spend much less and volunteer more. And I promised I would finally kick my caffeine habit and take better care of my health. I promised these things because when I think of the road so far and the possibility of me being a Mom after this morning's procedure, nothing else compares. Nothing. Nothing else is too hard to give up or to improve upon. Not after this.

So far, this experience has taught me more than any other experience in my life. It's taught me to value life in its purest form. And that memories with our loved ones and friends are what really matters at the end of the day. And most importantly, that nothing is ever promised or owed to us. This particular lesson has definitely been a very large and irregularly shaped pill for me to swallow. But it is what it is. And without a doubt, this "dip in the road" has definitely made me stronger. It's also helped me in what seems like my never-ending quest not to sweat the "little things"  and to focus on the bigger overall picture. To really appreciate what I have and to forget about all the "stuff" that we sometimes place too much value in. 

I made lots of promises to God this morning and even now, several hours later, I don't regret making any of them. My only regret is that it took this experience to make these promises but you know what they say, "From your mouth to God's ears." Now, I can only pray and think positive baby thoughts. Because ultimately, the outcome to all of this, is in his hands now.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for listening by reading this blog. Thank you for your constant support, for your prayers and for encouraging me to say what's really on my mind. And most importantly, thank you for helping me move past the pain by validating my feelings. Even the not-so-pretty ones. It's easy to lose your way. But it's (usually) just as easy to find your way back with a little help from your family and friends.