Blissful Lingering and Completely Present

I have been missing in action lately, I know. It's funny - I have all the time in the world now to blog yet I really haven't made the time. I have a pretty regular schedule though. I found out very quickly that I needed a schedule to keep me sane in this very quiet house of ours. I wake up at around 8am, eat a breakfast that usually consists of cereal or oatmeal, take a shower and get dressed - not because I have anywhere to go but because it makes me feel less like a bum. Then it's time to hit the computer to check email and work on our upcoming family fundraiser to raise money for Autism.

I take many breaks throughout the morning to use the restroom and snack on baby carrots, edamame and lots of water. Next, I might straighten up the house and put in a load of laundry while watching an episode of My Baby Story. (Love TLC these days) Then it's time to walk down to our mailbox to pick up our mail, hoping for some nice surprises in the form of in-kind donations. Lunch usually consists of a turkey sandwich, baked lays and a pickle and not because I'm pregnant but because I've always loved pickles. 



My afternoons are usually spent reading Safe Haven, by Nicholas Sparks. I am nearly half way to the end of the book, which makes me a bit sad. Then it's time to prep dinner, which can vary greatly these days, depending on my tummy. The television is typically tuned into Ellen almost every day at 4pm - I love her show, always up-beat and filled with laughter.

Then I anxiously wait for Leo to arrive home from work so that we can sit down at the table and eat dinner together. As he talks about the events of his day, I usually catch myself thinking, I really don't have much to offer in the way of conversation these days and I wonder, is this what it feels like to be a stay at home wife/mother? Where your life literally revolves around your husband and child? (I'm guessing on the child part)

I've always been pretty independent, always looking for something to try or accomplish. And if I am being very honest, my life has always revolved around my work. And not because it is more important to me than my marriage or my family and friends but because working hard (more often than not) equals financial stability, which is very important to me. But I have also always defined myself by my abilities and successes at work. Which, I don't believe is all bad but there is SO much more to me. I can see that clearer, now more than ever.  

In just these past few weeks that I have been home alone with my thoughts, I've learned a lot about myself. Like that I enjoy being "in the mix." (But really...who doesn't? Anyone?) And I require a certain amount of human interaction per day, whether through a phone or face to face conversation. Thank God for email, text messaging, lunch dates and surprise phone calls from family and friends who check in on me on a regular basis. (Thank you!)

I am really enjoying this time to be be still and quiet, dilly-dallying through my day, relaxing and preparing for a very different soon-to-be future. And I am also spending a lot of time praying. In a previous post titled Linger More, I had been dreaming and hoping for a time when I could do just that: linger more. What a blessing this pregnancy has been already. Every day I feel stronger and more and more confident because I know that I am ready and completely prepared for this. And for the first time in my life, I am finally feeling completely present in my own life. I am no longer just a spectator. I guess that's the power of lingering! 

Update: our next ultrasound is scheduled for this Friday at 8am!

Enjoy the Day!
Missy