When I think back on the last eight years, it's easy to get caught up in the sad, dark spots. For some reason that's where my heart immediately wants to go. Of course there is still grief. It's been nearly 8 months and it still feels all wrong.
However, when I also make a point to look at the amazing, happy, bright spots -- oh my goodness, my heart is immediately filled with so much joy and gratitude. So, instead of only focusing on the sad, dark spots, I always balance it out with reflection of the happy, bright spots.
A good, healthy balance of both is best - I speak from lots and lots of experience.
So, today in honor of Yolie's 45th birthday, instead of only focusing on her absence, I will reflect on the things I'm thankful for:
#1: My Faith
Without a doubt, God has carried me over the last few years, but especially over the last eight
months. And he never seizes to amaze me. I believe wholeheartedly that he knows exactly what I need when I need it the most and although there have been moments of stress, pain and grief, there has also been moments of strength, peace and sheer joy. And today I can honestly say I've never felt closer to God. This world of ours will always be chaotic, at-odds, indifferent, ever-changing and because we are human, we will at one time or another, fail each other. But, God never changes and He is always good.
#2: Family
Despite everything we've been through, we're still standing. And we've been through some stuff. :) My Mom is truly one of the most incredible people I know. She is my best friend and I'm so grateful for her constant love, encouragement and support. I'm also grateful for my Step-Dad, Chuck who has been so amazing through all of this and for being so good to my Mom. I'm grateful for my nieces and nephews who always make me smile and laugh, and for my extended family and Leo's family and extended family for being there for us, every step of the way. We are forever grateful to each and every one of you.
#2: My Relationship with Yolie
When we were growing up, our relationship was always complicated. Heck, it was complicated. But, in the last eight years we had become so close. Despite the fact that we rarely saw eye to eye on most everything, we found a way to focus on the things we did have in common and we gave each other grace often. I learned so many important lessons from her -- like the importance of spending time with family, enjoying the small moments and she was the one who taught me about unconditional love because let me tell you, I had a lot to learn. I also learned that sometimes when we put our own needs first, we lose out on the opportunity to make memories. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to stay home and rest, but when I persisted, I was ALWAYS glad I went. (So, so glad)
#2: Memories + Photos
Oh the sweet, happy memories - there are so many! From the very first bake sale in La Verne (thank you, Julia Wheeler for hosting!) the many walk-a-thons, the annual birthday celebrations and the special trips we took together as a family. One trip in particular I will forever be grateful for is the one we were able to take with Yolie, the kids and my Mom. I'll never, ever forget it. (Thank you, Deb Hughes!) And then to have so many photos to look back on as often as I want? Talk about a priceless gift! I'm SO grateful for every memory we got to make with Yolie and her family and for all the laughter and joy we were able to share with her. And we will cherish every photo for years to come.
#3: Community
How do you express gratitude for the overwhelming and unwavering prayers, generosity, encouragement, and support you provided? Not just for a year or two but for e i g h t years - without any questions or hesitation. That's a long time! Some of you had never even met Yolie and yet you opened your hearts and your wallets as if she was one of your own. We will never, ever forget you. We'll never forget how you showed up for her, time and time again. When I said God knew what we needed when we needed it, I definitely count you -- our community made up of family, friends and supporters who lifted us up through every hill and valley.
#5 Grace
Last but certainly not least, I am grateful for grace because let me tell you I've
made a lot of mistakes, especially over the past two years. I'm still a work in progress but I am hopeful and excited to see what God has in store for me and my little family.
So, there you have it. My top 5 reasons to be thankful today on Thanksgiving. I hope and pray you are able to find some bright spots in your own life and that you take some time to reflect on them. When you do, I hope and pray it helps lighten the dark ones.
Sending you love and light.
Missy
