A New Season

I did it. I did something brave.

I took a step back and I am trying on a new hat, so to speak.

And I didn't do it for myself or for Leo. This life changing decision was solely based on Jacob because he is without a doubt, my driving force these days.

I changed jobs.

I am no longer the Manager of Alumni Relations. As of last Monday, I am the new Biographical Data Specialist, which is really just a fancy title for someone who manages data. I know, it's a very different hat - if anyone can see and feel a difference, it's me but so far I'm managing the transition quite well.

I know some of you may be wondering why I'd make such a change, especially since I was in a job that I really thoroughly enjoyed. All I can say is, I'm following my heart.

When I returned from maternity leave in January, I was determined to make it work. I strategized and organized and I was very lucky to find an amazing day care provider less than five miles from campus and for the first few weeks and even into March, I really thought I'd figured it all out but little by little, things started to fall by the wayside.

It wasn't long after when the guilt began to creep in. I'd come home late and Jacob would be sound asleep. I'd see him for a couple hours in the morning before going into work but I was also gone a lot during the weekends and it never seemed like there were enough hours in the day.

These were all new feelings for me and I didn't predict them to happen to me because like I said, I was determined to make it work. I've always been a "go-getter," "go big or go home" kind of a girl but in the grand scheme of things, when I really thought about where I wanted to be first and foremost, it was at home with Jacob.

This new job is a blessing because it affords me just that. It gives me the opportunity to put in a good day's work in a department that is filled with people who know me well and who have supported me and encouraged me every step of the way.

It's funny - recently, I took a survey that would identify my top five strengths and initially, I was really surprised to find out that "Achiever" wasn't one of them. But after thinking about it, I realized that it makes perfect sense because climbing the ladder has never really been my goal - rather I've always been drawn to anything that involves me and others feeling connected.

Whether it's an event, a party, a fundraiser, a conversation and maybe yes - even a data project. Talking things out and learning from others - strategizing, creating and executing a plan of action and then seeing the final product. All of these things make me feel accomplished. fulfilled. successful.

I suppose If I'm being honest, I do think about the people I may be disappointing at times because I am one who genuinely cares about how I'm perceived. But I guess I my hope is that in this new role, I will be able to showcase some new talents. Many of which I may not even be aware of.

In the meantime, I am just feeling really blessed that I have this amazing opportuity - a new beginning and new season to really enjoy being a Mom. Thank you, God. I'd also like to thank all of you, my blogging community for sticking by me, even through my long absences. I have definitely missed you!

Enjoy the evening!
Missy

P.P.G.

P.P.G, also known as Party Planning Girl.

This was the name I was quickly given by my co-workers at ADP, a data processing company where I worked for nearly four years. It didn't take long for them to see the gleam in my eye when someone mentioned there was a shower or a birthday celebration to plan. I jumped at the chance to help several co-workers in the months leading up to their weddings and ended up being their "go to" person on the day of their big day and I loved every minute of it. 

From a very early age I loved to plan, organize and execute parties and I was pretty good at it, too. But when I got out of high school I had no idea that I could actually get paid to this type of work. I thought I was doomed to spend the rest of my days in office type positions. Luckily for me, the constant encouragement I received  from my co-workers helped motivate me to take the leap of faith and leave the security of a stable, great paying job.

With very little real-life experience I applied for a job in the catering department at several local golf courses in the area and to my surprise, I landed an assistant position for the Director of Catering at Shandin Hills Golf Course. I was finally getting paid to do what I loved - it was a dream come true for me. Unfortunately, the honeymoon period didn't last long. I loved the job itself and the brides who inevitably became my friends and the pay was amazing but the hours - they were horrible. In those six months, I worked every single weekend and the hours were long. Very long.

By this time Leo and I were married and we barely saw each other so I knew I couldn't stay. My heart was broken knowing I had to find a job with better hours. For several years I ended up working in the private sector of the Foster Care industry and I really enjoyed it. I started out as a clerical staff member but in the end, I was fundraising, organizing toy drives, cultivating relationships and partnerships in the community and  twice a year, planning events for the kids.

A few years later, I knew it was time for me to find something that involved more event planning so I applied for several positions. One of openings was in the Alumni Relations Office for the University of La Verne. The job description made mention to some event related tasks but after I submitted my online application I didn't hear anything for weeks. About a month later I received the phone call to interview for the job and after several rounds of interviews with various groups of people, the position was offered to someone who already worked on campus.

I was crushed to say the least. 

For a few days I sulked wishing the call had gone differently and I started to really wonder - was this the industry for me? Should I just resolve myself to being happy in a stable office type position? Maybe I was asking for or expecting too much out of life? And worse yet, I wondered if I had made the right decision to leave ADP in the first place. But then that very next Monday I received a phone call from the University only this time they offered me the job!

I have since been with the University for nearly four years and I can honestly say that l love coming to work every day. With any job, there are challenges I face every day - deadlines, last minute additions and changes, and circumstances I have no control over despite my futile attempts but the job itself suits me to a "t." I love working alongside my co-workers and I enjoy meeting and getting to know our alumni. And the best part is, I can be as crazy organized and detail oriented as I want to be and without apologies. 

I say all of this to show you that it is possible to find the career you are meant to have. Just think about what you are passionate about and figure out what industry is best suited for you based on that passion. And don't give up when it doesn't happen right away. My path to La Verne took me eleven years but I wouldn't trade all of the experiences I had in that time for anything now. I'm so glad I took the leap of faith. And most of all, I feel very fortunate to have had such supportive co-workers who pushed and encouraged me to find my life's passion.

Now it's my turn to encourage you - what is your life's passion?

Missy

A Few of My Favorite Things

I decided to submit my "Friday Favorites" in hopes to be featured in one of my favorite blogs, A Few of My Favorite Things - Beautifully written by, Molly Elmer.

Through the process of coming up with my own list of things I favor, I came to the realization that this is a really great writing exercise to get the creative juices flowing. Of course, as soon as I sent the email, I made some carefully thought out changes and added a few more for good measure. So...what's on your list?

 My Favorite Things

Thrift-ing

Vintage Looking Picture Frames
  The Scent of Vanilla 
Sunny & Quincy Cuddling at My Feet
My Label Maker
Rainy Days Spent at Home...Under the Covers...Watching a Good Chick-Flick
Inspirational Quotes
Musicals
See's Chocolate - Nuts & Chews
C.O. Bigelow Mentha Organics Sheer Lip Tint in Barely There
Shopping By Myself
  Writing a Letter the Old Fashioned Way
Valentine's Day
Anything Hello Kitty (because your never too old for HK, right?)
The Word - Serendipity

Twilight Series/Edward Cullen
Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer Herbal Tea
My Pillow

Enjoy the Day!
Missy

Pray

photo by: Earl Baumgardner

I gravitate to easy going conversations and avoid confrontational or controversial conversations, especially political ones.

Mainly because in my experience, these types of conversations usually end up in heated debates. Both parties angry and frustrated. No obvious winner. No resolution. Just two very separate opinions. It's no wonder. No big mystery. That's because our opinions are shaped largely by our culture and belief system, our personal experiences and observations. I sometimes wonder why we never stop to consider this before entering a conversation with someone who has a completely different opinion.

I learned this lesson years ago when I attempted to participate in a conversation that was a sore subject for me and it ended with me making a complete fool of myself. (It was not a pretty sight) I felt so unbelievably frustrated. Frustrated that the other person wasn't willing to be open enough to see my side. My pain. My experience. It was a very valuable lesson. At least for me.

In a more recent experience, I went to a student debate on campus, where I work. It was a heated debate on rights for illegal immigrants. I made a sincere effort to listen to both sides. To stay open to each point made and every fact recited. Many were good. Insightful and hard to dismiss. But at the end of the day, my opinion on the matter didn't change. It remained once again, still a direct result of own life experiences and observations.

We all have strong opinions and I am no exception. But for the most part, I prefer to keep them to myself. If someone asks me, I have no issue with answering their questions but I don't welcome or choose to participate in heated debates. It's just not my thing. I'd rather we just agreed to disagree and move on to other subjects. I know that this may make me seem wishy-washy or even unamerican because I don't proclaim anything with vigor and passion. But in the grand scheme of things, I believe that all of the really big issues that we spend hours, days, months and even lifetimes arguing over will probably always exist.

However, I also believe that I can stand for something important without having to debate it. Lead by example and resist the temptation to judge others. Picket at the corner in support of someone I love. Speak out and speak up in places of importance to share a story and spread awareness. Walk in memory of someone and help others find peace of mind. Offer my assistance and use my own personal experiences as my compass through life. And most importantly, I can get down on my knees and pray. That's really the one thing we can do sometimes. It's difficult to let go, I know. Hard to keep faith but prayer sometimes, is the only way.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Only Love

When I left home at age 18 I was determined to succeed. I didn't allow myself to sit for a minute. I wanted to prove to myself and to my family (honestly, mostly my Dad) that I could make it on my own.

At first, I thought, "this is it?," "this is easy." but as the months turned into years, I started to realize just how tough it really was. I still persisted. I didn't waiver. I kept moving forward. Inside, I was a scared little girl wanting to run back home but I was too proud and a bit stubborn. I relied heavily on keeping myself busy. Because lets face it, when your busy, it's very difficult to have self-doubt, to give up and throw in the towel.

I remember when I got my first apartment, I was so excited. I felt proud and accomplished. I bought my first bathroom shower curtain and matching toothbrush holder. I bought my first broom (I still have it to this day) and set of dishes. I settled in and made it a home but it didn't take long before the the initial excitement wore off; bills started rolling in and I had to figure out how to stretch my salary. The biggest wake-up call was realizing that I never really got to enjoy the apartment because I was always at work.

I managed to fit in a handful of parties but during that time in my life, work was the center of my world. I refused to make excuses. No exceptions or explanations. I was really hard on myself. I often wondered what I was put on earth to do and where was I meant to be - pretty heavy thoughts for an 18-year old. I made many mistakes - too many to count but I also soaked in every good and bad experience that came my way.

When I look back, I have tons of regrets and what if's. Difficult decisions I wished I didn't have to make. Circumstances that I wish had been different. But I can't go back and change the hands of time. It is what it is. And in the end, I suppose my circumstances and my choices then have made me who I am today. I'm still just as determined and stubborn and truth be told, these traits have served me well over the years.

Our family was not perfect. And when your just starting out, it's easy to think that you are the only one going through "stuff" but that just isn't true. Every family has their struggles and painful experiences. That's real life, I guess. But in our family, there were lots of good memories too. Memories of Dad making jokes and cooking in the kitchen. Mom putting her creative touches on everything she did, especially for the holidays. Fun family traditions and lots of love displayed through hugs, kisses and "I love you's" and I am grateful for it all. Today and always.

I love you, Mom & Dad!
XoXo

Note: I am attaching an image to this post that means a great deal to me. It is a message that my Dad wrote in a card that my parents gave to me for my very first promotion at work.

P.S. I had a lot of help along the way. I know this is not the best way to say thank you, but it is easier for me. Trust me, you don't want the obvious to happen - tear fest! Please forgive me as I thank you, in this very odd manner:

To my older sister for giving me shelter and for your unconditional love and support, to my younger sister - for your unwavering courage and encouragement every step of the way. To both of you for never judging me or questioning my decisions. And for being the few people in my life who really "get me." I love you both more than words could ever express. Teri and Eugene Matlock and Octavio and Isabel Rodriguez - for not only giving me shelter, but for making me feel like part of your family. Sue Newhouse - For your positive attitude and willingness to try anything once. You are my hero! Paula Brown, my boss at Sportmart - for always giving it to me straight. My friends and co-workers (past & present): God has blessed me with some pretty amazing friends. Thank you for being there when I needed you, for sticking by me through thick and thin and for all of the great memories thus far.

A Girl Can Dream

I blog about needing more time a lot. Have you noticed? This is one hurdle I still, at the age of 37, haven't figured out. Sometimes it seems as though I am on a teeter totter. Just when I think I have everything finally figured out I take a step back and realize that I am actually neglecting several areas of my life. And if I let it, I feel like a failure.

I try to balance my life with Leo, family, friends, work, volunteering and my obligations and responsibilities at home. These days it just seems like an impossible task. Most of it is that I work long hours, sometimes out of necessity but also because for the first time since my very first job at the age of 15, I LOVE what I do. I finally feel as though I found my niche. With so many other jobs I felt out of my element and out of place. So now that I'm finally here, it's difficult for me to sometimes reign myself in.

The other part is that I have a hard time saying No. I am pretty sure you already know that about me. If I could, I would continue saying yes to everything that comes my way but when I am really honest with myself, that just isn't possible. And if it is possible, the reality is that other areas of my life would suffer. And 9 out of 10 times, its time spent with Leo and my family.

So, I have to buckle down, think clearly and prioritize. And most importantly, learn how to say No more often. And the real hurdle for me? - saying no without feeling guilty. I do know that this issue is not just mine. We all struggle with it on a daily basis. And please don't misunderstand, I am not complaining. I wouldn't change or trade my life for anything.

This post is really just my way of figuring out how to make it all work. To find a solution or a compromise. I do know one thing: for the most part, because I have such loving family and friends, they never make me feel guilty. I have family and friends who even after months of zero communication, when we do see each other or talk on the phone, it feels as if there was no time spent apart.

If it were a perfect world, I would spend UNLIMITED amounts of time with Leo, my family, my friends and work. Plus, I'd also still have time to volunteer, blog and scrapbook. Ok, I know - I need to move over to reality but a girl can still dream!

I Heart Valentine's Day

I love, love, LOVE Valentine's Day! And I personally don't believe it's a holiday solely for couples. Rather, I consider it to be a special day set aside for us to remind all of our loved ones just how much we love and appreciate them. That includes family members, friends, co-workers and even your favorite barista!

Everything about Valentine's Day is so inviting - the colors for instance. Red. Pink. Hot Pink - Who could resist? And the candy! Brightly colored foil wrapped hershey kisses. Conversation hearts and heart shaped boxes wrapped in red velvet filled to the brim with assorted truffles and such. Cutesy stuffed animals with cheesey sayings, like "Be mine," "I'm yours," and my all time favorite,"Hug Me." Although these particular phrases are probably not appropriate for everyone on your list, they are sure to win over your closest friends and/or your main squeeze (a.k.a. boyfriend or husband)

This year, I'm going to take the time to make handmade cards. No store brand cards for my loved ones! It's time to get creative. Pour on the attention to detail and let my spirit be my guide. Incorporate actual photos and delicate red and white ribbon. (I haven't used ribbon in years!) Maybe use some good old fashioned doilies. Hmmm...where does one find doilies these days? To sweeten the deal, I could find one of my favorite recipes and include it with the card. To share with those who share my love of baking. The possibilities are endless! But isn't that the idea? To make the time and the effort, to show our loved ones just how much we care? No fancy dinners needed. No blingy ring required. (Although I certainly wouldn't give it back) :)

This project is my goal for the next few weeks. I'm not even going to add it to my "to do" list as scary as that may sound. Maybe because my current "to do" list seems to be lingering longer than normal. Who knows? Maybe I'll get it all done in one day? A girl can dream. I may even post a few of my creations for you to see. What can you do for your loved ones this Valentine's Day? Here are some other ideas that may tickle your fancy:

For your Boyfriend or Husband:

Make him a special dinner complete with candlelight
Make a CD using the love songs you both enjoy
Schedule a couple's massage
Take him on a surprise overnight trip to Cambria (LOVE Cambria - so romantic!)
Create a scrapbook of your lives together thus far; photos, tickets stubs, cards, etc.

For your Friends:

Make a Friendship mini album using pictures, friendship quotes, etc.
Make a Shadow Box using a few photos & friendship quotes
Organize a friendship brunch for your closest friends
Purchase blingy cocktail rings from your local thrift store - beautiful & inexpensive! Wrap them in white organza and tie with pretty pink satin ribbon

For your Family:

Find the perfect photo of you & your family member & frame it in a bold red frame
Bake individual loafs of banana nut bread, wrap in saran wrap first to keep fresh and then in pink tissue paper and top it off with black & white ribbon
Make chocolate covered apples in pink tinted white chocolate and drizzle with candy hearts

Have Fun!

Linger More

I want to linger more. be present. settle in and really take it all in. Forget the craziness that often is my life. forget the lists, the voicemails and emails to return. I want to write. Clear my head and breathe. I want to listen to music. good music. I want to write a letter and send it all in the same day. I want to observe more. talk less. Enjoy the company of a good friend. laugh more and cry less. Hug everyone I love and tell them just how much I love them.

I want to look forward and forget the past. Stop imitating life and really be a part of it. Make my own way. Discover new things. Spend a full day taking pictures. Scrapbook until my hands ache. I want to spend less time speculating and worrying and more time creating and inspiring. I want to dilly-dally. Take my time. Stand still and forget the hands on the clock ticking away regardless of how hard I try to get them to stop.

What Sustains Me

There are not many things that are steadfast in life. Things that keep you going. inspire you to do better. be better. live better. For me, first and foremost, is my faith and belief in God. Even when it feels like life is bearing down on me with all it's force, I think of the sacrifices he's made and the gifts he has given me. It's easy to forget though, to lose sight at times, I must admit.

There are other little things in my life that have helped solidify me. keep me sane. Like Reading. I LOVE reading. I could never fully explain the feeling I get when I am reading a good book. I've probably read 100's of books in my lifetime. By far, this for me is one my biggest stress reliever. Give me thirty minutes a day to read and I'm good. It doesn't matter what kind of day I've had.

The next thing is Music. On most days, music is my driving force especially I'm feeling tired and drained. It helps me forget the bad stuff and think of the good stuff. Music gets me moving. Thinking. I don't listen to the words much, for me it's all about the beat. I get lost in it. I have many favorites. far too many to list or count. There are songs that instantly bring back memories of my school days, of friendships and relationships. Songs that remind me of the loved ones I've lost and songs that are a part of my love story with Leo.

Writing is another one. I've always loved writing, even as a little girl. I can remember in grade school letting out a "woo-hoo" everytime the teacher gave us a writing assignment. Over the years it has helped me deal with problems I face in a positive way. Circumstances make more sense to me, once I write them down. Discussions are clarified. Problems are resolved and feelings are made sense of. When it's all written down, I inevitably feel better.

The last thing that is steadfast in my life is drinking Coffee. And not just any coffee. Starbucks coffee. I know. sounds crazy and insignifigant. I'd like to think of myself as someone who doesn't have vices. I've never done drugs, I've never even smoked a cigarette but this one thing - is most assuredly my one and only vice. I know exactly how much money I could potenitally save and also how many calories I could save myself but it's my thing. My one thing I do that isn't the best thing to do. (we can't all be perfect, right?)

These are the things that sustain me. fill me. Regardless of what life (God) throws my way. We all need things that are steadfast in our life. To keep us moving. creating and living life to it's fullest. When life gets hard. Unforgiving and stressful. These are the things that help me put one foot in front of the other. What things are steadfast in your life?