What If?

This week is National Infertility Week! Naturally, I felt it was important for me to dedicate today's post to the cause by doing my part to help spread awareness. Because let's face it - even though us girls will pretty much talk about everything and anything - infertility is probably not at the top of our list. Because of this, most women who struggle with infertility live with it silently, causing themselves shame, internal pain and conflict.

I recently stumbled upon this video by Keiko Zoll of Hannah Wept Sara Laughed by visiting my friend MissConception's website. I urge you to watch this short video no matter what your own situation is and then please, share it with others because you may unknowingly have several women in your life who are silently dealing with infertility now or who will face it in the very near future.


What IF from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

The fact is that today, 1 in 8 couples will face infertility and because it's not often discussed in the public forum, the lack of awareness contributes to the fact that infertility is still not recognized as a disease by the public, our politicians, healthcare professionals and the media. The end result is very little support and resources for women who are doing their best to navigate through what can be a completely overwhelming and gutt-wrenching process.

Another reason National Infertility Week is so important is to use this week to bust the myths. There are countless myths out there causing infertiles unnecessary stress and grief when faced with a loved one who is trying to help but may not be aware of the myths still thought of as facts. Here are two that I've encountered over the years:

Myth #1: If you relax, you will get pregnant
Well-meaning friends and relatives may suggest "infertility is all in your head" or "if you'd stop worrying so much, you'd get pregnant." But in reality, infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system -- and not a psychological disorder. In fact, one or more physical causes are identified in the vast number of infertile couples. So while relaxing, going on vacation, or finding positive ways to de-stress can improve your overall well-being, these lifestyle changes won't solve your infertility problems.

Myth #2: Once a couple adopts a child, the woman will become pregnant This particular myth is not only painful for infertile couples to hear, but it's also untrue. First of all, it suggests that adoption is simply a means to an end (a pregnancy), and not, in and of itself, a valid and wonderful way to form a family. Secondly, only about 5 percent of couples who do adopt later become pregnant. This success rate is the same for couples who don't adopt and become pregnant without further treatment.

Oddly enough, I myself know someone who got pregnant after their adoption paperwork had been finalized so it makes the second myth, at least for me, hard not to believe but the fact still remains - the percentage is only 5%. So as you go about your day, I urge you to use this one week (really, only 4 days left) to not only educate yourself but to help spread awareness of this growing issue for women.

If you are currently dealing with infertility alone - I encourage you to share your story with close family and friends and/or find a support group of women who going through the very same thing. (contact RESOLVE to locate a support group near you) Personally, I would highly recommend starting your own blog - even if it's just for your eyes only. Writing, for me, has been by far the single most cathartic thing I've done for myself over the past three years and you would be pleasantly surprised at the number of bloggers out there writing about their own struggles and triumphs over infertility.

For me, this group of women has taught me more in the last three years about infertility than any doctor or resource guide. Plus, when given the chance, they will jump at any opportunity to show their support and encouragement every step of the way. Regardless of my current situation (I finally triumphed over infertility after 9 years of trying!) my story is still very much a part of who I am today and  I often wonder, what if?

What if in the early stages of my story, I had the same circle of support I have now? What if I had access to the resources I have today? What if I had been able to save myself some valuable time? 

Now it's your turn to ask yourself...What if?