Finding Our Home

When I was a little girl my family attended Bellflower Brethren Church. I loved this Church. I have so many great memories from the music to the lessons, the holiday performances and the huge picnics on the lawn - potlucks in the large recreation room on the first floor of the two-story building. Everybody knew eachother on a first name basis and I always felt at home. And Pastor Cashman was warm and charismatic.

We left in the early 80's because my parents bought a house in Ontario. We had tried to travel back a few times but it was a long drive, especially with five rambunctious kids in the car. We attended a few local Churches over the years but I never really got the same feeling.

When Leo and I started dating our hurdle became the fact that we were from different faiths. I had heard several Pastors speak on this subject and they always stated with conviction that they would not marry a couple who came from different faith backgrounds. Quite honestly, this didn't deter me or cause me to second guess our relationship. I had faith that God brought Leo into my life and I refused to believe that he would disapprove of our marrying eachother.

He proposed to me on a rainy Valentine's Day at Shoreline Village in Long Beach. Soon after we set the date for November 12, 1999 and we started planning the wedding in early Summer. Almost immediately we had a very difficult time finding a Church that would marry us. We must have talked to a dozen different pastors from non-denominational Churches. I had all but given up when Leo's sister recommended a Church in San Dimas.

Leo and I met with the Pastor and after a brief introduction and explanation of our situation, he reassured us by saying, "Everyone has their own path to God" and he happily agreed to marry us. It was a beautiful ceremony and we both felt grateful to him for making us feel so welcomed into his Church. Unfortunately for us, he left shortly after

And we were back to square one again....

We tried several more Churches in the non-denominational faith and each time Leo was such a trooper. He never complained or hinted that he preferred to go to a Catholic Church. I think he could sense how important this was to me. I really just wanted to find our home. A place where we could both grow in our faith together. But many times what kept us from returning were not-so-nice comments made by the Pastor about the Catholic faith during the sermon.

I agreed with Leo wholeheartedly when he didn't want to return because we both agreed that was not okay. It is never okay (in our book) for one faith to put down another. Needless to say, it left me feeling frustrated and disheartened to the point to where I had given up. That's not to say that I stopped praying. I don't know a lot but I do know that I need God's presence in my life to help me, guide me and sustain me when times are tough.

When Jacob came into our lives the subject inevitably came up again.

We both felt it was important for him to be raised in the Church so he could have the same foundation of faith we both had. I was cautiously optimistic but also a little weary.

At first we decided that we would raise him in both faiths. We would baptize him in the Catholic Church but we would visit a Christian Church fairly often so he would be able to learn both. That didn't go over very well with the first Priest that we met with, and for good reason in hind sight. But still, I found myself feeling frustrated and in a way, rejected by all of the complications that kept seeping into our plan.

I prayed about it. Cried some. Then prayed some more. And that night, I had a dream. (No kidding!) In that dream, I basically got out if it that it didn't matter what package Jacob's faith came in. Sounds silly and a little over simplified but it made complete sense.

Why was I so set on our plan, when really it should have been in God's hands in first place?

I decided that since Leo had been gracious enough to marry me in a non-denominational Church, it was my turn to be gracious. I made a list of four more Churches that I hadn't yet called and one by one, I told them our story and was turned away so to speak. I only had one more to go - it was a Church in Claremont, just a few blocks from where we both work. I called and left a message for the Baptism Coordinator. She called me back within minutes of me hanging up and we immediately connected so well that we ended up talking for nearly an hour.

I proceeded to tell her our story and then I ended it with our little situation, when she reassured me over and over that it would not be a problem. She set-up a meeting for us to speak with a Deacon for the following week. I had a very good feeling.

Deacon Bob was warm and kind and when I told him that I was a Christian, he too said those same words that our Pastor had said to us years before, "We all have our own paths to God" and he capped it off with, "Really, we are all Christians." I can't tell you how happy I was to hear him say those words. We were both happy. He proceeded to answer all of our questions and we filled out the necessary paperwork to get the Baptism process started. We were elated, relieved and excited all at the same time.

We attended Church the very next Sunday in our Sunday best with Jacob in tow. Nervous, like it was the first day of school. We sat in the back row just in case we had to make a quick exit because we had no idea how Jacob would manage being quiet for nearly an hour. The first thing I noticed was the music - there was a band of musicians - a worship team if you will and many of the songs that they played were ones that I knew from my days at Calvary Chapel and even from Bellflower Brethren (a definite good sign!)

The message was spot on, I was able to follow along with ease and when I read the mission statement in the program, it reflected so many of the same values followed by the Brethren faith that I have come to love and live by. The biggest one being inclusivity. They also have an impressive amount of programming that is centered around family and they even have a private school attached to the Church, should we decide to go that route. Jacob much to our surprise managed exceptionally well and by the end of the service, we didn't even have to say a word. We just knew. After nearly 13 years of marriage, our prayers had been answered.

Thank you, Jesus.

P.S. I know I haven't posted in a long while - what can I say that I haven't said before? I am forever juggling my crazy busy life but I want you all to know that I really appreciate you sticking by me!

Enjoy the Day!
Missy