The post was titled, "20 Weeks: All Gone" and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. Miss C and her husband underwent IVF a few months ago and were pregnant with twins. The post was short but in it she lovingly announced the passing of their son and daughter on October 12th. Of course the tears are back and even as I sit here typing away, my heart aches for them - for the pain they must be enduring right now and for the heartache they will undoubtedly experience over the next few weeks, months and even years.
More than anything though, I am feeling SO much frustration and anger. And not at God, for some strange reason. Yes, it is extremely difficult to understand his plan for this amazing couple and the questions that are bound to naturally linger on everyone's mind is, "Why did this happen?" and "For what purpose?"
It's difficult to find purpose in something so tragic and painful. But more so, I'm angry because there are SO many people out there that have no idea what it feels like to have to struggle and go through gutt-wrenching situations like this one in order to one day have a family.
People who joke outwardly about how easy it was for them to get pregnant, people who accidentally get pregnant and then complain about the consequences they face and people who choose to abuse, neglect and abandon their children. Then I think about the countless children in foster care and group homes who just want be loved and taken care of and I wish to God that things were different.
We as women need to come to the realization that pregnancy is not a given or even a birth right. It may feel that way to most but I guarantee that if you spent some time reading a few blogs written by women who have been trying for years to get pregnant, suffering through not one, two or even three miscarriages but five, six or more, you'd have a completely different perspective.
Before I met these women, I felt lost and alone. Isolated from most of my loved ones and friends and not because they didn't care but because they didn't fully understand. And not because they didn't want to understand but because they hadn't experienced what I had. I thank God that these women made the decision to share their story. Because of them, I was finally able to find my footing and gain the strength I needed to continue hoping. I also felt better because I had the support of others who had gone through the exact thing I had.
Their stories were mine and my story was theirs.
I'd like to thank them for giving me the strength to get here:
Cherish This Baby
Infertility Overachievers
My Strand of Pearls
Fearfully. Wonderfully.
Hannah Wept - Sarah Laughed.
Lastly, I'd like to ask a favor - please say a prayer for my friend, Miss C and her husband and also for the countless women who are struggling to not only get pregnant but to keep their pregnancy and remember: pregnancy isn't a birth right - It's a miracle. Cherish your children - hug and kiss them every chance you get and never miss an opportunity to spend quality time with them. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate what they bring into your life: the good, the bad and the ugly.
I love you Miss C and will be praying for you and your husband as you go through this very difficult time. I am here if you need anything - anything at all.
Love,
Missy
4 comments:
My prayers are with them.
Thank you. The support has been amazing and I know it will help us find a little peace.
I was also heartbroken to see MissC's All Gone post title. My heart breaks for them and I share the anger and frustration with you. I find myself reverting to the toddler tantrum and saying it's just not fair. It's not.
I have a hard time with the women who approach pregnancy as a chore. I know it's harder on some than it is on others. I get that. And I know it's not all rosy and fun - but no matter how hard or easy the task it's still a gift. It's a life, a life that you were blessed with and so many are not. I had trouble with the ungrateful one's before IF and it's even worse now. IF totally opened my mind and eyes to just how much words impact people and how you never know what journey another person is on, no matter how well you think you know them.
Continuing hope was the hardest feat for me. I feel like I could give up at a moments notice, that is hard to overcome. There are no words to express how reading your comment about others giving you strength and then to see my blog listed. Tears. I can't even tell you how gratifying that is. Thank you so very much. You helped my journey so much, I hope you know that as well. Your comments always left me with a smile and gave me so much encouragement that I needed. Thank you for that!
I have loved being on this journey with you and I do feel honored to be a part of it. I am praying hard for you and the miracle you are soon to witness. I actually had a dream last night that you were in labor, hmmmm. No matter when it happens I pray it is smooth and everyone is healthy and safe. I can't wait to see your little miracle. Jacob is one lucky boy!!
Debi - thank you for the prayers. Miss C - I am glad to hear that. Please let me know if you need anything. Still praying for you and your husband.
Cherish - You are SO right. I guess we both needed each other through all of this. Thank goodness for blogger, huh? :) Hope all is well with you and your little one. Have a great day!
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